Because life can be a bit demanding, finding the time, energy and resources to take care of ourselves can truly feel impossible at times. And when life gets tricky like this, we could all use a little extra help.
In today’s post we’re going to discuss the fifth and final key to creating self care independence; support. Not only that, but I’m going to offer you a free digital guide!
Hello, my friend. Thanks for showing up today. I hope you’re doing well, and if not I hope you find this post helpful.
So….Support. It’s a tricky thing, right?
I feel like a lot of us, deep down in the depths of our honesty, we really desire more support in our lives, but are either too proud, embarrassed, or have some other excuse that keeps us from seeking it out. Or, to be fair, sometimes we’re not aware that we need a little bolstering.
We have a tendency to live on autopilot and just soldier through the things we need to do. We run ourselves a bit ragged, taking on all the responsibilities and reverting to our ol’ busted up self care routines that may no longer serve us (or worse, we may not even practice much self care at all).
That’s why I created CMC.
I wanted to create a safe space for people to explore topics like self care, and self love, acceptance, assurance, and empowerment. I wanted to provide an online community where people could show up as their authentic self and know that the person on the other side of the screen that’s sharing all of this information truly cared about their wellbeing. I wanted to offer guidance and inspiration in the form of education that was digestible, and provide tools and tutorials that were practical and relatable. And most importantly, I wanted to make sure that this was all affordable and enjoyable as possible.
Because this is how we thrive, right?
We thrive when we have access to the tools, knowledge, and resources that empower us. And knowing that there’s someone out there who truly cares about our wellbeing…? That’s really what makes a difference.
Personally, there have been several times in my life when I was a bit adrift, and there were folks who were safe harbors for me. I guess I want to pay that forward now. There’s too much magic to not share that I’ve gathered in my years in the wellness profession, and as a human who has healed from trauma and transformed their life from a place of self destruction, to one of great self respect.
Anyway, enough of this kumbaya stuff… Let’s get down to business.
Support…What’s it look like, and how do we get it?
Let’s start with what it looks like.
Support comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but I think the more obvious form that comes to mind is social support. Friends, family, groups, professionals, there are lots of people in the world who can offer different types of support be it a pair of listening ears, some encouraging words, or actual professional guidance.
But, there are other ways to support yourself in this wild world of wellness, and they are instrumental and informational support.
So, the word support means to bear or hold up, or serve as a foundation.
So really, support is the stuff that sets you up for success and helps carry you along your way.
When it comes to wellness, all too often many of us kind of go about it by the seat of our pants. We don’t take the time to create a solid foundation for ourselves, or have a plan that will sustain us longterm.
This is when I like to use building a house as an analogy.
Now, assuming we’re not all carpenters, if we were to build a house what we’re NOT gonna do is gather scraps of wood from the side of the road and start building on the first vacant plot we find. I mean, we could, but it probably wouldn’t be a very safe, secure, or lasting structure.
There are a lot of things to consider before building a house.
First off, do we even know how to build a house?
What tools do we need?
What materials should we use?
Does our plot of land provide solid ground and access to water?
Are we realistic about the time it takes to build a sound home?
I like using a house as an analogy because, let’s be honest, our bodies are our homes. The plumbing, frame work, and electrical system, that’s our physical body and brain. The furniture, paint color, and all that fancy art on the walls reflect our personality. And the plot of land and the foundation, they’re a complex combination of our ethics, mindset, and soul.
You are going to spend your entire life living inside of your body. What kind of home do you want it to be?
Now, let’s get real here for a minute. You can have a sweet-ass house with really great plumbing, solid framework, a top-of-the-line electrical system, and gorgeous decor, but if that house is built on a swamp, that shit’s gonna sink.
You deserve a solid foundation.
And just like a house, the foundation is the first thing you start building. All that other stuff goes up a lot easier once you’ve laid the ground work.
So, how do we build a solid foundation? So glad you asked… We start by creating self care independence.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, that’s why I created CMC the five keys for self care independence. When we’re trying to navigate our wellness the first thing we should do is practice cultivating a growth mindset, which is the first key by the way. Getting to a place where you believe in your abilities and worthiness is crucial.
The second key is awareness. Self awareness, and body consciousness are so important when we’re trying to make sense of our self care. Learning why we do what we do and how it’s affecting our mind, body and mother loving soul is super handy.
The third key is direction. When we learn how to lead with our heart and find our purpose in life, life just ends up easier, and we feel more at home within ourselves. We WANT to make healthier choices. And healthier choices lead to balanced living. And that, my friend is the goal.
Taking action, of course, is the fourth key, and it’s the thing that makes the mojo happen. Learning how to light your fire and maintain momentum is what turns all this cerebral shit into reality. And let’s be honest, we’re not here to just think about our wellness, we’re here to get well, and become whole, and find peace within ourselves.
And finally, today’s fifth and final key, support. Practicing the first four keys will help you build a solid foundation and support you while you’re creating a home within your mind and body. I cannot stress this enough, creating a foundation where your head and your heart are invested in your wellbeing is the answer to creating lasting and enjoyable self care practices.
So, support isn’t just “social”, and having other humans rally around you (though that is an incredible feeling). It’s also instrumental, meaning that you have the appropriate tools and resources. And it’s informational, meaning you have knowledge and understanding. With all three of these types of support you can build a really strong foundation.
So, that’s what support LOOKS like. Now, where do we get it?
So, self care encompasses self awareness, love, acceptance, assurance, forgiveness, and empowerment. Self care also includes things like patience, determination, and accountability. It takes into consideration the person as a WHOLE being, mind, body & spirit. So, when we’re traversing the world trying to figure out what kind of TLC we need, it can get a little overwhelming. There are LOADS of resources out there for you. Books, podcasts, blogs, online groups, every type of specialist under the sun, and even certain social media influencers are can be helpful.
But where do you start?
Personally, I think it goes back to the first key, mindset.
Absorbing information about what mindset is, is a very helpful place to start. The next step is to practice creating a growth mindset Until you believe in your abilities and worth, and have patience with yourself and the process, jumping into the rest of it is going to be like swimming upstream. It’s going to be a little harder than it needs to be. So working on your mindset is the place to start.
Personally, I’m in LOVE with Carol Dweck. She’s a psychologist who has brilliant things to say about mindset, and I’ve actually posted a TED talk featuring her on my “Freebies” page on my website.
After that, the next logical step is cultivating self awareness. One of my favorite books on this topic is “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”, by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. It gives insight into why we do the things we do. And it’s a simple and enjoyable read, that even the Dalai Lama himself had good things to say about! Just sayin’
After you’ve gotten into your growth mindset groove, and have practiced a bit of self awareness, you’re ready to start finding direction and purpose and authenticity in your life,. And this is when I’d like to introduce you to one of my all time favorite humans, Brené Brown. She wrote a brilliant book called, “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”. Everything Brené writes is gold, and totally worth consuming.
The next stop after direction is action. Humor and inspiration are in abundance when you read anything by Jen Sincero, and if you’re looking to take action in your life (hello, fourth key), then you may want to invest in the book “You Are a Badass Every Day: How to Keep Your Motivation Strong, Your Vibe High, and Your Quest for Transformation Unstoppable”. She’s the shit and I love her.
And as far as support goes, I’d like to offer CMC as your hub. My mission is to provide you with affordable, accessible, and OMG, practical self-care resources that will empower you for a lifetime.
But seriously, I’m taking all of this self care stuff and breaking it down into bite-sized (and hopefully delicious) little pieces. I want to baby step with you along your way to wellness. I want us to have fun, and be curious and creative. I want to hold your proverbial hand and look into your eyes and tell you, “you’ve got this. I am with you.” Because you do, and I am.
I’m most visible on Instagram, but also dabble in the dark arts of Facebook. I have a weekly newsletter where I share regular self care nuggets and offer a free basic version of my Mindset Makeover Kit. But the place where it gets super real (and the perks get meaty) is over at Patreon.
Patreon members receive all three forms of support; social, instrumental and informational. It’s a place to feel safe and encouraged while you build your foundation. Members receive:
- Weekly Journal Prompts
- Mindfulness Exercises
- Full length Self-Care Tutorials
- Regular Personal Check-ins
- Direct Blog + Podcast Updates with Member-Only Content
- And all of my Digital Guides, Ebooks, and Courses for FREE!I And just to give you a taste, I’m offering my guide “Making Sense of Self Care” for FREE at my website between the dates April 9th-16, 2021.
You’ll also be a part of a welcoming community that values your wellbeing. At Patreon we’re having open discussions about all things self care and you are totally welcome to join us. And since I believe that self-care and support should be affordable, I’ve designed a membership platform based on a "pay what you can" system, starting at just $5/month.
So, that my friend, is what I have to say about support. I hope you feel at least a little more encouraged in this wellness journey you may or may not be on. And if you walk way with anything, please let it be this: You are capable and worthy of every ounce of energy you invest in your wellbeing. Take your time, and be patient with the process, because that gorgeous home of yours deserves a solid foundation.
If you’d like to learn more about anything I’ve mentioned today, I'll leave links to all the things in the show notes at the bottom of this page.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for being here.
I’ll see you soon.
- Oh, and by the way, if you’re looking to start your own podcast, check out Buzzsprout, they’re awesome.
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